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Obese Workbook I: Fat Brain Lies

 


Carlene's Raw Adventure
September 2005

Thu Sep 1, 2005 9:17am


Today was a great exercise day. I did my wash walk then went out for my bike ride -- all in 3rd gear today. I decided to try for the extra 7 miles when I was done. I think I only made it 2 1/2 or 3 miles in though before that little inner voice said "turn around, go back, or you'll never make it home." I listened. There are things I need to get done today, but was bummed because the return trip was a lot easier than I thought it would be. But oh well. Friday I'll make it to the end.


In the wash today the dogs and I were chased by a coyote. At first I was the obese, weak ankled, no breath woman from May, then I remembered I knew how to run and I did. She didn't chase us for too long, and I had spent the whole first half hour of the walk wondering when I would be fit enough to run in it. I think it will be much sooner than I planned. I also think we will need to start leaving later in the morning. Yesterday two other coyotes were checking us out, one was standing on a bank just 30 feet from me not caring I was there. They have never been this brazen before.


I am already looking forward to the gym tomorrow to see if I can make it 1.5 miles on the treadmill. I may need to see a fitness psychologist soon to work out my obsession with exercise. It just feels so good to be strong and active.

 

Fri Sep 2, 2005 7:55am


Short note. I made it 1.75 miles today running. I did have to take 3 1 minute walking breaks, but I still had enough energy to push. Monday I'll try for 2. Oh yeah, the past two days I have lost a pound each day. Sweet!

 

Sat Sep 3, 2005 6:33am


Today it all paid off. This morning I achieved the first true goal since starting raw and exercise in May. I took a leisurely hour and a half bike ride down streets with pastures, springs, horses, and gorgeous ranches. It was rolling hills, up and down and back. There was no effort, no discomfort or desire to hurry and get it over with. Pure joy. Other cyclists passed me and I felt no need to compete, no embarrassment for my size. It was like being welcome back into nature and life. I was enjoying myself so much, I missed my own street on the way back and didn't realize it for about a quarter mile. So that joy was mixed with laughter and pure appreciation for what raw has brought me.

 

Tue Sep 6, 2005 3:38am


3 Months since I started my 30 day challenge. Here are the stats:


Weight Lost: 52.5 pounds + 14 from 1st raw attempt = 66.5 pounds since May


Inches Lost: Since 30 day challenge


Chest: 6"
Buddha Belly: 8.75"
Hips: 6.75"
Left Upper Arm: 2.5"
Right Upper Arm: 1.5"
Left Thigh: 4.5"
Right Thigh: 4.5"


I have maintained 100% simple raw with low fat without any slip ups (except in dreams). This month I have increased my exercise to include running and bicycling. I tend to wear myself out with exercise every day, but every day I push harder than the day before, so I attribute this loss of energy to the exercise and not raw. I've had a few tough days this month with cravings but they seem to be initiated by watching TV and all those pizza commercials. I've cut my TV time down to only my few favorite shows and the news to limit this exposure. Other than that It's been great. I'm buying my clothes from regular women's section...no more plus sizes for me.


This new month's challenge will be to get my daughter to start raw (she is supposed to start after I lose 12.5 more pounds). I've had Alissa's book returned to me and will be leaving it at her house this week. I also want to start doing some hiking at least once a week, do a couple of 20 mile bike rides, and up my running to 3 miles 3X per week.


I still have 67.5 pounds to lose. Sounds like a lot, but I'm basically half way there in 3.5 months. I doubt I'll be able to keep up the 15 pounds per month, but have no doubts that by March I will be there.


Raw has really changed my life. I have no gripes, no problems, no fears. This is a lifestyle that suits me and each and every day brings me joy.

 

Thu Sep 8, 2005 4:50am


This morning I'm going for blood work. Not that there is anything wrong with me, but when working with the naturopath I had blood taken on a fully SAD diet, then again after 3 months of vegan. I wanted, for my own curiosity, results after 3 months of raw to compare. I'll do it again probably in December or January. Of course since it is a fasting blood draw, I'm starving even though I never usually eat breakfast until 10 or 11 in the morning. I probably won't get the results back for a couple of weeks -- I hate that.


Yesterday was my first time running a mile straight without having to stop. Then I walk, ran for two more miles. The last mile mostly walking. My goal for the end of the month is to run 3 miles 3X a week. The day before I did 12 miles on my bike for the first time. I'd like to have done a couple of 20 mile bike rides during this, my fourth month of raw and to have done some tough hiking. I wish I could fit into a bathing suit and be presentable because I would love to add swimming. The pool at my house isn't long enough for laps and is outdoors so it won't be good for much more than another month. Who knows maybe a triathelon is in my future. I should wait another year and a half and then I can compete in the over 50 group. Resistance training is going well also, I'm getting strong again and I do love that.


Today I'm dropping Alissa's book off at my daughter's house. Hopefully she'll read it and be inspired by more than just my story. The ten pound count down starts in just another pound and a half. We'll see if she keeps her promise.


Oh yeah, on the 6th in celebration of my 3rd month raw, I had my hair chopped off. It's to my shoulders and still goes back in a pony tail, but it was a lot to cut off. Actually it was tied up for hair donation. I had gone swimming and it was just too long and too much of a hassle, so off it came. In truth I'd love to be able to have short short hair, but it doesn't look good, so I'm stuck with pony tails the rest of my life.

 

Fri Sep 9, 2005 9:04am


So much to tell today. First, I'm exhausted. I overdid at the gym again (got that 1.25 miles straight without stopping though) and then came home and went swimming. Oh well, can't seem to help myself. I'll go to bed early.


I lost a pound a half yesterday. Putting me at 190, 10 pounds from the 180 goal where my daughter would join me in raw. I have been all excited. Plans of emailing her with the 10 pound count down, then for ever pound reminding her again her time was at hand. She would be dreading it, a promised diet, and I would enjoy teasing her into it. Except last night while I was visiting them, my son-in-law says. Why don't we just start it now. And my daughter, says. We'll go shopping this weekend and start then. Start then? But wait, what happened to my count down, my goal, my fun? Damn it! Oh well.


For the past fifteen years I have been wearing pants with elastic waists. I hate admitting that, but being fat, banded jeans were just not an option. I don't have much of a butt and to get jeans that fit my waist required crotches to my knees and balloon legs, so loose stretch pants with elastic waists it was. Last night my daughter had me try on a pair of Levi's, size 16. They fit. They were not tight, not uncomfortable, it was a perfect fit. My first pair of jeans in 15 years. I almost cried.


My son-in-law said he would hike with me Sunday morning. We'll see how that goes. It could be their first day raw. Now this is going to become a real journey.

 

Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:48pm


Finally, we did it. My son-in-law picked me up at 6 this morning and we took off for our hike. It was beautiful, harder than I hoped. I did great until the last half mile up to the falls. I had to stop a few times there, but nothing that should really bother me. Of course I'll be in bed early tonight.


I had Craig take a picture of me at the falls, with hopes of posting it here with a starting picture, they are both still so horrible It is killing me to do it. I'm not a pretty woman, obese I'm down right horrible looking. Now I just look old and worn. Everyone has been telling me how much older I look now. It's the sagging skin, the last remnants of my double chins hangs wrinkled beneath my chin. My skin is ruddy from all the sun. I know things will tighten up as I finish losing the rest of all this weight, but putting pictures in this journal is taking a lot out of me.

 

Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:16pm


The outpouring of support from the forum in regards to my posting those pictures was overwhelming. The thought of everyone being able to see them is still a little unnerving, but I'll move quickly to my journal so I don't have to think about it much.


These past two days have been great. I've been doing all my exercising. Today I did my 12 miles on the bike with not much effort. Next week I think I'll add two more miles, one of which is a hill.


My kids haven't started raw yet. Maybe this coming weekend. My son-in-law called me twice today. Once to see if I was sore from Sunday. He was. I feel great. And then a second time to see if I had bought new hiking shoes. He said he will go hiking with me again next Sunday, if his wife lets him. I'm very lucky. He's a great kid. My daughter of course hates everything that has to do with the outdoors. I guess I took her camping and hiking one too many times when she was a kid. Her dad's a big outdoors person also, I don't know who's genes she got.


I met with a client today an my mouth dried up. My lips are killing me now. I must be dehydrated somehow, but I can't figure it out. I was fine until I sat down to talk. Oh well.


I'm still losing a lot of hair. I'm going to give it a couple of more weeks and then check out that MSM stuff Flutterfly was talking about. I hate taking supplements, but I'll hate being bald even more.


Okay, I'm done. Time to eat. Think I'll have a couple of red pears.

 

Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:12am


Just wanted to say what a great day today is. On my bike ride today two ravens flew overhead, the whoosh of their wings filling the air. A butterfly raced me for a quarter mile. A couple of hawks stood sentry on a post only feet from my head, then a vulture a short distance away lit on a telephone pole and stretched her wings for me. I do love the outdoors. It is so wonderful to be part of it again.

 

Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:48pm


I got my blood test results back. The Naturopath called and was all in a tizzy. "I need to see you, things need to be worked on." I told her I was not going to change anything I was currently doing until I lost all this weight. Then we would do more blood work and go from there. She agreed to fax me the results, but thought I should still be seen. Ahh, the supplement pushers of the world. I may have two problems I need to work on, my liver which is getting worse and I have too high a prolactin output.


I'm going to try and post 3 sets of results. My SAD results, my 3 months Vegan results and my 3.5 months Raw results. Along with the reference range of only those I have had or still have problems with. The * means it's within range, H means I'm high, L means I'm low. I don't have all the results from my Vegan test, I thought I did but can't find anything but the summary of out of range page.

Test
Ref Range
SAD
Vegan
Raw
TSH (Thyroid) 45-4.5 6.7H --- .16L
Prolactin 3.3-26.7 32.0H --- 43.3H
Glucose 65-99 100H 102H 91*
Urea Nitrogen (protein) 8-25 18* --- 7L
Uric Acid 2.2-6.5 7.2H 8.1H 9.0H
Cholesterol <200 264H 210H 201H
Triglycerides <150 203H 270H 164H
LDL Chol Calc .>130 184H 134H 131H
VLDL Chol 0-29 34H 45H 27*
Chol/HDL Ratio <4.5 5.7H 6.8H 4.7H
ALT (Liver) 2-4.6 48H 74H 77H
AST(Liver) 10-41 18* --- 74H
Iron 35-175 75* --- 95*
TIBC (Iron) 250-400 343* --- 246L
Hemoglobin A1c
(Diabetes)
<6.0 5.8* 6.3H 6.0H


I don't know what she was so upset about. Things look like they are getting better to me. I would expect the lower protien, but hey, 1 point below what they think is normal can't be bad. The increase in Uric acid is understandable because I'm losing weight so fast. The cholesterol was disappointing. I was sure that was going to come back in the low hundreds. But I'm only 2 points over acceptable.


My liver is obviously going to need a lot more work. I could be over taxing it with the cleansing out of all this fat. It hasn't bothered me all month, so these results were surprising.


Anyway, I thought I would post these. True facts, nothing to go "Wow, raw is amazing," but let me add...my father died from diabetes. He gave up living 15 years before that. I'm real happy that I'm headed backward on that path. Even though the naturopath circled my triglyceride numbers many times, she must be nuts they have gone down considerably. She wrote next to that number "too many fruits and starch." So maybe I should go back to a SAD diet and jack them up by 30 points. Beside they are only 15 points over and I've just begun healing.


It will be interesting to see these results again in January or February when I am done losing weight and am a healthy raw.

 

Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:28am


Here I am again, all cheery and full of energy. I'm sure most who read my journal are sick of that by now, but I'm just doing so great I can't help myself but feel that way.


Yesterday my son-in-law and I went on an amazing hike. It was so lush (remember I live in the desert). There were vines, wildflowers, a river, trees, butterflies and grasshoppers everywhere. On the way back we got lost and had to walk up the river to find a trail to take back. It was awesome. In the end we walked about 11 miles, but it was worth every step.


As a kudos for the weekend and all my hiking. I lost 3 pounds. How great is that. Fun and weight loss together?


Today I upped my running to 5 miles/hour. Which is fast for me. I didn't get all 3 miles running, but I did more than half and because I talked with a friend on the treadmill next to me, I walked the first mile so I added a forth to make up for it. And yet, I still feel full of energy. Raw, Raw, Raw! This is just so amazing.

 

Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:10am


I woke up in a bad mood this morning. Actually, I went to bed in one, couldn't sleep and had to get up and do nothing until I felt tired. On my morning walk I argued with myself as to whether or not I would go for my bike ride, one side just to tired and moody, the other saying just go. Finally, nature answered the question by throwing out a few load roars of thunder. It was an excuse I know and I'm already knowing I will regret it all day.


So what set me off? Two tangible things I can think of, but I am over reacting. I felt the bad mood ceasing me yesterday afternoon. My patience with people was dwindling fast.


I'm trying to look at this diet wise. Yesterday I took MSM for my hair loss, and I ate some nuts. I've also been watching TV which still bothers me craving wise, or are my cravings caused by the bad mood?


I wish I could just crawl back into bed and let the day go by without me.

 

Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:09am


Phew! Yesterday is done with. Today I am back to my happy self. I wrapped myself in work yesterday knowing the bad mood would go away if I ignored it. It didn't really until I was going out to my writer's group and realized I would see someone I dearly love and that alone would erase my sour mood. It did.


Yesterday I wanted to eat. No cooked, but junk. I have a couple of bags of flax crackers from the Tree of Life, so I ate about five of the hot Mexican ones, and that solved my cravings for junk. Isn't that cool?


I'm need to re-evaluate my exercise goals for this month. I've upped my walk/running to 4 miles. So I'll set my goal to up that to 5 by the end of the month. I've been increasing the speed so even if I can't run the whole thing I will be satisfied with the goal. I'm going to do that hard hike up the mountain again this Saturday, so my hiking goal is to get up that hill without stopping. It could take me three more tries. For biking, I'm going to be happy with 14 miles. I think I have pushed hard enough that I don't need to set goals I can't achieve. I am very happy with my progress.


Well, back to work. It's nice to be happily raw again!

 

Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:30am


I haven't journaled in a while. Not that I'm having any problems with raw, that's my eating lifestyle and not a worry for me anymore. I'm out pushing with the exercise, dropping weight at a very nice pace, and basically just feeling good.


I overdid this weekend with the exercise. I took off on a hike by myself that I thought would be safe, heavily populated, and something I could do. As it turns out I was all alone out there, in the desert, 98 degree heat, climbing and climbing. I was rattled at by a Mohave green rattlesnake (one of our deadliest) only feet from mine, had no clue that the trail could be six miles up. I knew the first 2.5 were tough, but thought it would level out once I got into the mountain. It didn't, it kept going and going. My destination was six miles in, I didn't make it. I made 5 I think, or maybe 5.75 who knows. I finally had to stop myself because it was getting hotter and ever next ridge I would try just wasn't the last one. So after five attempts to turn back, I finally did. The down killed me. The heat was devastating, no one was on the trail. By the time I made it to my truck, I had nothing left. Actually, I had nothing left two miles before the truck, but with the illusion that I was almost down at one point I pushed forward until realizing I wasn't where I thought I was, but then another curve and I had reached the point I thought I was at a mile earlier. I was home by 12:30, but could do nothing the rest of the day but sit in a hot tub. Two days later and I'm still in pain.


I won't be doing that alone by myself again, but further research has shown me it is considered a B level hike, which is what I wanted to try. A 12 miles hike with a 2050 elevation gain. I'll get my son-in-law to do it with me again in a couple of weeks and then I will feel confident in joining the hiking club here in town.


It was beautiful. I had two deer (mother and fawn) standing fifty feet from me, the three of us just watching each other. A green snake flew, and I mean it was so fast it was a blur, through a field, across my path, and to hide in brush. It was about six feet long. Amazing. There were also bugs I have never seen before, brightly colored and loud. I do love being outdoors. Just next time I need to be smarter about it. No more big hikes alone.

Note: I later learned the rattlesnake was a Blacktail and the green snake was a Whip Snake.
 

Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:40am


I had nothing to offer at the gym today. My muscles were weak, my energy low. I think I'm still recuperating from Sunday's hike. Finally my calves don't hurt, but... Then again, I couldn't sleep last night. Not due to anything about my health or diet, it was family business. So lack of sleep could have affected my energy levels. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm going to mail off my application to the hiking club today. That' I'm pshyc'd about.


Yesterday I noticed my hairline is receding. I need to make a better effort at having protein everyday. I tend to eat fruit and forget to add the hemp seed to a smoothie. I still can't get greens down. I took one of those MSM pills yesterday and will take one again today when I have my smoothie. Even skinny, bald won't be a good look for me.


Oh yeah, I'm starting to notice improvement in my vision again. It's slow coming, but it is coming. My skin is starting to tighten up on it's own, also. The sagging wrinkled chin has improved considerably. I'm thinking by the time I'm done losing weight it will be gone and the face will be smooth.