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Obese Workbook I: Fat Brain Lies

 


Carlene's Raw Adventure
January 2006

Tue Jan 3 2006 7:54 pm

I know most of you are just starting on your journey, but I am ready to end mine. I have 23 more pounds to lose. That's it. I started with needing to drop 140 and I'm almost there.

But this past Thanksgiving I added nuts into my diet, and I found that I quickly was looking for that fat fix every day. Then after boot camp went up and Annette posted a brocoli recipe that had avocado in it, I added that to my diet. And then I was having electrolyte imbalances from all the heavy hiking and added salt back into my diet. So needless to say my body screamed out and said. Go ahead eat like this and stay fat forever. And I did. For a month and a half.

I weigh in every 6th of the month. I have consistently lost 12-18 pounds a month. This month so far with only three more weigh in days to go I have lost 4 pounds. Everyone wants to tell me it's because the last 20 are the hardest to lose. Nice try. I could convince myself of that, but I know the truth. I have stopped trying. I got caught up in the "You look wonderful, what do you mean you have 20 more pounds to lose." And the fat trap. Yeah it tastes good, but is it good for you? I'm thinking not.

Since I pigged out on Christmas I have not felt the same. I have not had the energy, the push I had throughout this journey. I wasn't even taking the dogs for their walk. If Maria hadn't pushed me I probably wouldn't have even hiked. All that spring water in my veins turned to slush. As I've been hiking these past two times I've noticed my balance is a little off. I've been cranky. All because of a little fat. Well, actually, a lot of fat. One avocado can put you up to 41% fat for the day unless you ate thousands of calories which I never really do. On Chrismas morning I weighed 140.5 pounds. Here it is a week and a half later and I weigh 142 pounds. Lesson learned.

Tomorrow is our big Fat Out week here at the boot camp. I am so ready. I actually started today. But I'm adding a twist, I am adding more veggies. Yesterday shopping I actually bought more veggies than fruit. That is a first for me. This week I am going to have a green smoothie every day, plus a big salad type dinner. I don't need an avocado for energy to get up all my mountains, and I don't need it for the potassium. Today I had 4833.6mg of potassium from all the veggies. That is well above what I really need even with all my exercise.

I have felt great today. Clearer and more excited about everything including exercise. I did take the dogs walking 4X's today. I even ran the last loop. Whether it was the green smoothie or the fat clearing out of my body, I don't know, but it feels good to feel good again.

As part of the Fat Out week at boot camp, we are logging all of our food into fitday and putting the percentages in our journals. I am also going to log my food so I can come here and quickly see what I ate versus how I feel the next day. I am also going to log my exercise.

Today I weighed 142 pounds. It is my goal to get to 119 by Feb. 15th. That is 1 month behind my original goal. I had planned on losing 134 pounds in 8 months. Now it will be 9. Still not bad, but it was a wasted month of dieting.

Today's Exercise = 3 hrs 17 mins.

Blackett's Ridge - 6.5 miles 1700 feet. Took 2hrs 40 min.
3X walked dogs on 10 minute loop = 30 minutes
1X ran dogs on 7 minute loop = 7 minutes

Today's Percentages

Fat 7g 7%
Carbs 23g 82%
Protein 24g 11%

Sodium 792.46 mg
Potassium 4833.6 mg

Today's Food

3 Oranges
4 Pears
3 Nectarines
1/2 bunch spinach
1 large collard leaf
1 cucumber
1 cup cabbage
1/4 tomato
2 Scallions
1 zucchinni
3 Shiitake mushrooms
1/2 Portabella mushroom
2 Romaine Lettuc Leafs

 

Wed Jan 4 2006 - 10:13 pm

Morning weight 141.5 only 22.5 more pounds to lose by Feb 15th.

Today has been a great day. It's the first weigh in day for most of the people here at boot camp and they did amazing. Everyone seems really stoked about this week and what the no fat week will do for them. It's already been great for me.

I lost half a pound yesterday so I started today at 141.5. Tomorrow hopefully I'll be done to 141 and be back to my half pound a day routine.

Loggin in fitday has been great. I was very excited tonight when I put in all my food and found that for all but nutrients I was over the RDA. Calcium was at 74% and Zink at 62. Iron just missed the mark and came in at 99.6 (that's why I said I only missed 2). I don't think I've ever eaten enough iron before. This is just wonderful.

I had that smoothie this morning and took the suggestion to add more fruit so I added an apple. It was much better but filled me up so much (no wonder there was so much food in it) that I didn't think about eating until I realized I really needed to start thinking about how I would eat more veggies today. My solutions was, I soaked some Shiitake mushrooms with green onions and a little salt then after they had soaked for a while I put them in with cauliflower, whole mushrooms, red bell pepper, celery, and an apple. Then I took that sauce which was quite tasty and poured it over baby carrots, celery, and chopped broccoli spears. So many veggies in one dish. I couldn't eat it all, especially the sauce which I had only taken half of (2 cups of cauliflower make a lot of sauce) so I gave the rest of it to the dogs. They were fighting over it. I gave them more carrots and celery and covered it with the rest of the sauce and that bowl is licked clean. Nice!

It's hard to believe I could wake up tomorrow morning and lose weight with how much food I have eat today.

I went to the gym this morning. First time in about a month. That was good. I still can't find my balance on the FX machine, but I'll get there. At least I don't get winded or tired. I also ran. Now I hate running, but I was determined to get in a half hour of running. It was tough and took a lot of self talk, but I did it. I really wanted to quit after ten minutes, but in my mind I had made a promise to have 30 minutes of running to report back to boot camp. I had to really push. Not that I was tired or winded, but because running on a treadmill is just tedious and boring. In all the times previous I tried to run I never could for more than 10 minutes continuously. I don't know what made me want 30, but I didn't question whether or not I could do, just if I wanted to. This is all paying off.

It's 7PM, I still have work to do and I haven't got to the circuit workout. I'm going to have to do some of it just not to throw off my goals. I don't like execising this late, but a promise to myself is a promise and I hate to break them.

Today's Exercise (to be modified after I do the circuit workout)

FX Extreme class - 30 minutes
Walking on Treadmill at 3.5 mph 6% incline 25 min
Walking on Treadmill at 3.5 mph 0% incline 20 min
Running on Treadmill at 5.0 mph 0% incline 30 min
Circuit Workout - 45 mins (Didn't get done until 9:45 PM I'll never get to sleep)

Walk dogs 4X = 40 minutes

Total Exercise for day = 3 hrs 10 min


Today's Food
Calories = 1245
Fat 8g 6%
Carbs 305g 83%
Protein 30gr 10%

Sodium 819.98 mg
Potassium 6121.6 mg (and no bananas, Yippie!)

Iron 99.6%

2 Oranges
4 Pears
2.5 Apples
1/2 bunch spinach
1 cup collards
1.5 cups cauliflower
10 Shiitake mushrooms
1/4 cup red bell pepper
1.5 cups baby carrots
1/4 cup broccoli spears
4 stalks celery
1/2 Portabella mushroom
2 scallions
1 cucumber
1/4 tsp salt

 

Thur Jan 5 2006 9:45 pm

Morning weight 141.5 same as yesterday. I'm worried tomorrow will be the same. These 140's have been the toughest ten pounds ever. I'm sure it is a platue of some kind, that last step is sometimes the hardest. It's like my body doesn't want to make the leap from fat to thin and is holding on. Oh well, I've been beating the fat beast for a long time, I can beat it again.

I didn't get to do the Sabino Walk tonight, I was out with my son and didn't get home in time to meet up with the group. I'll make up for it this weekend.

So today I only walked the dogs and got 1.25 hrs of exercise.

Last night after eating all those veggies I felt full even after I went to bed. I woke up this morning still feeling full and didn't eat anything until noon. It was just too much food for me I think. Anyway, today I choose to only eat fruit. That's where I always feel the best. I'll get in a green smoothie tomorrow, but willc cut back on eating to many veggies in the evening.

Food for Today
Calories - 873
Fat 7g 7%
Carbs 209g 83%
Protien 20g 10%

Sodium 724.05
Potassium 4459.2

4 Oranges
5 Nectariens
3 Cucumbers
2 cups berries in smoothie
.3tsp salt

 

Fri Jan 06 2006 7:21 am

Morning weight 142.5 - I gained a pound!!!

This has been the hardest, most frustrating month of my journey. I am so sick of the 140's. One day I'm 140.5, the next 142.5 the next 141, then 142.5, then 141.5 then back up to 142.5.

Today is my monthly weigh in which I have been doing this whole time on the 6th of the month. I lost 3.5 lbs this month. The whole month. Up until November, that is what I would lose in a week.

It's got to be the added salt. There will be none in my diet today. I'm going to have to decide which is more important the weight or the hiking. Today it's the weight. I just really need to get to the 30's. I may cancel my hikes for this weekend and do the alkaline flush. Maybe, or maybe just Sunday's hike which is the one I really wanted to do. Okay, never mind. I can't not hike, so I'll have to eat, but no salt for the next three days. I'm sure I have enough in me to hold me for a while. If not then I'll decide. I'm going to go back and read that article I found on dehydration and see exactly how much sodium I need to be active. Then I'm going to work to that goal only and see how it does.

Measurements were pretty pitiful this month also. But what do I expect with only 3.5 pounds lost. Most didn't move, so I'll only state the ones that did.

Bust down .5"
Waist down 1"
Hips down 1"

That's it everything else is the same.

 

Sat Jan 7 2006 7:18 pm

Morning weight 142

Need I say anything. Atleast it's half a pound back to where I was two days ago. I will overcome the 40's, I promise.

Today I went hiking with Maria. She wasn't feeling well after having been to a party the night before and eating loads of SAD food until 11 at night, but we still did descent in our up. 1hr 23 minutes. Coming down I did something to my knee and we had to slow down. It added ten minutes to our overall time.

By the time I got home I could barely walk. Dog walks consisted of me taking the dogs out of the yard and stepping into the woods across from us and telling them to go play. Not their idea of a walk.

So Blackett's Ridge was my only exercise. 2hrs 50 minutes. We won't count the dog walks.

Today I ate more like my old self, but it wasn't many calories.

Calories - 723
Fat 4g 6%
Carbs 176 g 8%
Protein 17g 10%
Sodium 25.95
Potassium 3271.7

4 Oranges
4 Nectariens
2.5 cups cherries
1.5 cucumber
1 cup green beans

 

Sun Jan 8 2006 6:35 pm

Morning weight 141.5

I decided to do the alkaline fast since I wasn't going hiking anywhere today. I wrapped my knee when I went to bed last night, but it hurt too much that way so in the middle of the night I pulled it off. I did walk the dogs today so the knee is a little better, but I won't be doing any hiking until Thursday and Friday night. I don't want to keep aggravating the knee, to hike you need good knees and I have a lot more hiking to do in my life.

Today I've done day one of two of the Alkaline fast. I'm hoping it will kick my body back into weight loss mode.

I've learned something very valuable from logging everything into fitday. My potassium levels are always high, I don't need to eat bananas to hike. It was my sodium. I did not eat a lot of veggies and that is where all the sodium comes from. I was mostly fruit, and most fruits have 0 sodium. I do not need to be adding any additional salt or miso to my diet, I just need to eat some greens everyday. Something I have always known. So time to stop worrying about getting enough electrolytes and move ahead with my low fat, low sodium life. Veggies here I come (after tomorrow).


The alkaline fast consists of 12 oranges, 6 lemons, and 2 grapefruit. It's not a low cal flush.

Calories 1097
Fat 4g 4%
Carbs 285g 87%
Protein 25g 9%

Sodium 10.08mg
Potassium 4463.8mg

The only exercise I've got today was 7 dog walks = 70 minutes. I did accomplish a lot on boot camp last night and today though, so it's been a good day.

 

Mon Jan 9 2006 5:23 pm

This morning I weighed 140.5 the same as Christmas morning. No more going up now that I've learned my lessons about fat and salt. So today I finally start to lose weight again. It's good to be at a real beginning rather than starting from ten feet back. And it's nice to be on the right track.

Later today...

It's about 5:20 PM. I'm tired and ready for bed. My tongue has been coated all day from the Alkaline fast. I will decide when I get up in the morning if I'm going to do a third day. I only bought enough oranges, lemons, and grapefruit for a two day fast, so odds are I'll be eating again tomorrow.

This has been good for me. Cleanses aren't just for your body they are for your psyche as well. I feel as though I have taken control back and that things are on the winning side (or rather losing) once more. Free of the desire for nuts or avocados or recipes, all I'm thinking about is a nectarine or apple. That's where I like to live - simple low fat raw. It's what works.

Exercise and food were the same today as yesterday.

 

Tue Jan 10 2006 10:54 am

Morning weight 140 - the lowest I've been since 1985

I'm headed for an unknown weight zone for me. I've been below 140 before, but once I pass 136 I will be in weights I have only before maintained with drugs and starvation. This could be a reason both my body and my mind were fighting getting through the 40's, they new what drastic measures I had taken before to get below this and were a little frightened. Hopefully that war is won, and both body and mind know that with raw comes health. This time I will let my body choose it's own optimal weight, so we are in the unknown - a place I seem to always love stepping into.

Today I feel great. I'm glad I did the cleanse, this morning I woke up full of energy and have been getting so much done. My knee feels better, I feel better. I am eating today, had a cantaloupe for breakfast followed by 3 small necatarines - I'm such a pig. I also made a smoothie. This time just 2 pears and an apple to get down that bunch of spinach. I can do that. I want those greens, but I was putting way to much fruit in them.

I may soak some veggies in a disolved tsp of miso today. That is only 180 mg of sodium, that is probably not going to hurt me and will let me get down some other veggies. We'll see what it does. I now need to find a happy place for my sodium and hiking. I feel as though I've got the knowledge now to conquer that.

 

Thu Jan 12 2006 6:15 am

Morning Weight 139.5 Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!!!

I will never, ever, ever go back to the 140's again. That was like a recurring nightmare. But all is good. The 30's have welcomed me in. Granted I'm still in the foyer, but it's enough for now. One foot in the door is better than shivering in the nasty isolated land of the 40's.

 

Fri Jan 13 2006 11:51 pm

I've been spending 12-16 hours on boot camp stuff this past week and so desperately needed to get outdoors and hike. I had hurt my knee last week so I had been letting it heal, but today was the day to get out there and exercise. Maria suggested a short 5 mile 1000 ft hike. It sounded perfect to try my knee out on. When we got there the guide said he had made a mistake it was really 2000 feet. So off we went. When we reached a saddle, half the group, actually all but 5 of us, decided to turn around and go back. That may have been the 2000 feet, I'm not really sure. Anyway, off we took. It got steeper. But I didn't feel it. No huffing or puffing, no lack of energy or heavy legs. It was easy. Maria and I were doing better than the guide. Finally the guide said we should stop, but we weren't at the top of the mountain, so the other woman with us led the way and we kept on. It was just great. Maria and I have become real solid B hikers, we're not winded, we don't get tired, and we are no longer the last ones up any hills. It's quite the accomplishment for us. We only started hiking together in November and we were most definitely C hikers. It took a lot of push, a lot of sweat, and a lot of playing with my diet to get this success, but boy did it feel good.

On the way down, Maria and I took off on our own. I hurt my knee again, leaned into some cactus so had spines in my butt and back, had a toe nail cutting into another toe from all the down, but we booked. The others were about half an hour behind us when we finished.

So everyone always asks me if the push is worth it. Many tell me I push too hard. I think I have changed my life, I have become strong and powerful, I have realized my dreams. I did not push too hard, I pushed for what I wanted and I got it. Tell me that wasn't worth it!

 

 

Sun Jan 15 2006 9:26am

Today I have been 100% raw for 8 months. When I first started I never would have believed I could be raw for such a long time without breaking it. I remember the few people at Raw Food Talk who had been raw 6 months or a year and wondered how they could have done it. And now here I am officially a pure blooded rawie. I'll call myself a pure blood because rumor has it every six months your blood is completely renewed, so there is no SAD flowing through my veins. Maybe some toxins left from all the years of SAD eating are still being cleaned out, but nothing new.

Also today I weighed 138 pounds. 121 pounds in 8 months. No complaints. December stalled any real weight loss because of all the avocados and nuts I ate, but still that's a lot of weight to vanquish, a lot of weight I thought would be with me for life. Just last May I was sure I'd be obese forever. So that's the glad news.

I called my sister this morning. For those of you who don't know. One of my big goals has been to be a pound thinner than my sister. She was always the thin pretty one in the family. Last year she quit smoking around the same time as I started raw and gained weight. For the first time in her life she was a little heavy. Which for me, the fat one of the family, was a nice opportunity to have a goal to be just one pound thinner than her. To be able to call her up and say na-ne-na-ne-na-na I'm thinner than you. Today since it is a Sunday and I knew I could catch her before her day started and she got dressed I woke her up. I wanted to know just how close I was to my goal. It was going to give me something to push towards all week. She loves me, I've got to say, because she got out of bed for me. Last time she weighed herself she was 136, so I thought I could hit 135 by next Sunday. That's a great goal, a great motivator. Last night I dreamed she had been dieting and was 120 and I was devastated, but no she assured me that hadn't happened. It was taking her forever to get on the scale, and then, and then...139!

It was supposed to be happy moment, a thrilling moment. I was a pound thinner than Sandey. A whole pound. But it wasn't there. My beautiful thin sister who had never been over 120 in our lives was heavier than me. Drill sergeant mode kicked in. That was unacceptable. Now I'll be bugging her every day. She can't let me be thin on my own. Come May at my mom's 75th birthday party I don't want people walking up to her and saying: "Oh Carlene you dyed your hair red like your sister!" That just doesn't work for me.

So now I have a new mission. To get my sister to lose the rest of the weight with me. It will be a hard task as she has never dieted in her life, but I love my sister way too much to let it be.

So there you have it. The sad and the glad of my 8th month raw anniversary.

Of course there is a lot of glad in this for me when I think of how everyone at boot camp is doing and all the plans we have for the future.

 

 

Wed Jan 26 2006 11:39 am

A pound away from my Christimas goal of 135, but I know what I did and I'm understanding the slow down.

Today's weight, 136, is the line. This is the end of my natural weight loss throughout my life. Yes I have wieghed less - 115 once but it was short lived. I have never been below 136 without drugs, starvation or both. Anything I get with raw from here on out will prove this is a truly miraculous diet. Most of my thin life which was really only for about 10-12 years was spent between 136 and 145. I got a couple of years in the 120's but I took drugs and never ate.

So here I am waiting to take my step into the unknown, the wild, the beautiful, thin, fit, satisfied, full of eating and living world I have never before belonged.

If I were headed for my original goal of 125 I would only have 11 more pounds to go. Just saying that brings tears to my eyes. Last May that was an impossible dream. I am going to try for 119 which gives me 17 more pounds to go, but I will celebrate 125 as if it were the most beautiful number in the world.

Please don't get discouraged by my slower weight loss. This is a big moment for my body too. The last of the fat is afraid to leave, the skin is wondering what it's going to do. I have to admit my body isn't quite so pretty today as what's left of fat is just hanging around, but as these last few pounds fade away, slowly if that's the case, all that will be left is a strong core, flat belly, and thin arms (they have held onto the fat the longest). I'm hoping tomorrow, and if not, the next day to break this 136 mark and cross that impenatrable line whole and full of promise for a lifetime of thin and fit thanks to raw.

In Response to some questions at boot camp:

As for pictures. I tried taking some last week, but without someone else in the picture they don't look any better than the one at 155, and actually that one did look better. I'm short waisted so I actually looked fatter in the photos. Even my kids who took them told me not to use them. I'll try again, maybe outdoors next time.

Ah, the skin. I have to be honest. I'm looking nasty. I'm not going to say it's the skin though. It's the saggy fat. How my body has chosen to shed the fat has been interesting. It's like there are little folds here and there of leftover loose fat. Firm fat looks so much nicer. Now my arms look like my little chicken dangling chin, and my butt has a couple of folds. Interestingly my stomach which was the biggest to begin with has stayed the firmest and has very little saggy skin. What there is of it is around stretch marks, but even those aren't bad. My inner thighs and my upper arms are the worst.

Remember the theory though, I have to get rid of all the fat for the skin to go back. I can see the logic behind that now as I'm looking at whats left. It's also winter and we are having the driest winter ever recorded so that isn't helping the skin either.

In truth I'm not worried about it. I can see how in 17 more pounds things can firm up nicely. It's a stage I tell myself and I believe me. I actually find it rather comical.

The plus side is. I have knuckles. I can put my arms behind my back and just about hold my elbows. My hands wrap around my forearms. When I lay down at night, I can feel my skin tightening around my lower ribs as it descends towards my flattening stomach. I can feel my hip bones sticking up. When standing, I can see my rib cage above my chest right below the skin, no fat between them. The long held apron is barely there and promises to leave behind a flat tummy. So today I'm saggy. In 17 more pounds I won't be, and I can handle that.